lgbt

Dear Kim Davis: Gay Rights in America

Mollie Cahillane Blog, Politics , , 0 Comment

Dear Kim Davis,

Hello, my name is Mollie Cahillane and I’m a junior at Northwestern University.  I’m writing to you in regards to your recent refusal to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.  As a queer American woman, I have some thoughts.

I admire your ability to stand tall in the face of adversity.  I admire the strength of your convictions.  Believe it or not, I even agree, “you can’t be separated from something that’s in your heart and in your soul.” But here’s why you’re wrong.

Your belief that same-sex marriage is a sin is antiquated and hypocritical.  You believe gay marriage is destroying traditional marriage, but haven’t you been married four times?  You were even willing to go to jail rather than issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

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You’ve been lauded for your homophobic beliefs and you’re now regarded as the queen of the bigots.  Your constituents are poorly educated, and dare I say it, morons.  Presidential hopeful Ted Cruz admires you.  The man attempting to defund Planned Parenthood (a.k.a. taking away affordable healthcare for women) is also homophobic.  In one fell swoop you’ve undermined the LGBT community and 50 percent of the population.

Kentucky, your home state, one of the most conservative states in this country, found you in contempt of court.  You went to prison for being intolerant.  But, you did get a hashtag out of it.  (Plus a great parody onTwitter).

Kim, your beliefs are your beliefs.  I may disagree with you but I know I can’t convince you that you’re wrong, so I’m not going to try.  But you must have heard of separation between church and state.  You hold a public office.  Why do you believe you’re above the law?  You have not gone to jail for practicing your religion.  You went to jail for attempting to use the government to force others to practice your religion.

And now I hear that after all of this, you’re still forcing your personal ideology on Kentucky.  Kim, straight people sued you.  Your deputies went behind your back while you were in prison and altered the marriage licenses.  What if my religion believed women from Kentucky named Kim shouldn’t have the right to marry?

After you got out of jail, you changed the marriage license form to remove the office’s authority.  My guess is you’re headed back to jailand your plight for bigotry will begin to fade in the conscious of society.  You might have the vocal homophobic minority on your side for now, but times are changing and my generation doesn’t take you seriously.

So this is the last you’ll be hearing from me, Kim.  And don’t worry; you’re not invited to my wedding.

Yours,

Mollie Cahillane

Growing Up Gay: Being Queer and Feminine

Mollie Cahillane Articles, Blog, Life , , 0 Comment

Growing up, I lived a sheltered life.  I’m the oldest of four children and I have parents who would do anything to protect me.  I’m very lucky.

Even though I hate to admit it, this shielding had its drawbacks.  When I was eight, I told my mom I learned what the f-word meant.  Too embarrassed to say it out loud, I leaned and whispered ‘fart’ in her ear.

So imagine me in sixth grade.  I hear the word ‘gay’ for the first time.  What does this mean?  Boys can like boys?  Girls can like girls?  What?!

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Flashback to third grade.  All every girl can talk about is their crush on the cute boys in our class.  Here’s the problem.  I don’t have a crush.  What’s wrong with me?  I go home one day and tell my mom about this boy.  I like him so much mom!  I draw his name in hearts!  She asks me if he’s cute. ‘Ew! Gross!’ was my instant response.

I had a boyfriend once, back in seventh grade.  He broke up with me because I didn’t want to kiss him.  I was so confused and wondered,  ‘What’s wrong with me?  Why don’t I find anyone attractive?  Why doesn’t anyone find me attractive?’

Looking back now, it’s almost hard not to laugh.  Poor Mollie.  I was confused and scared and felt so alone.  It was hard realizing I’m gay.  I lived in Georgia and went to a conservative Christian school where I felt like being gay wasn’t an option.  I turn 21 next week and I’ve been out and (mostly) proud for three years now.  I’m in a happy, committed relationship with a beautiful girl.

But, it wasn’t so easy to get here.  First I had to realize I’m gay.  Then I had to process it.  Then I had to accept it.  And next, I learned to embrace it.  It didn’t make sense to me for a long time.  In my mind, lesbians had short hair, no makeup, wore combat boots, and stuck out in a crowd.  I had long curly hair, wore dresses almost every day and brown eyeliner was my best friend.  I didn’t fit what I thought gay should look like as a woman.

I DIDN’T FIT WHAT I THOUGHT GAY SHOULD LOOK LIKE AS A WOMAN.

Why did I feel that I was only a real lesbian if I presented as androgynous or masculine?  Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to present oneself in this way.  The feminist movement is about a woman’s right for equality regardless of how she looks.  And while androgynous or masculine presentation is the right self-expression for many queer women, I thought it was the only option.  So at 19, I underwent an identity crisis.  I bought combat boots (which I love and adore and wear probably every day).  It was only due to my mom’s intervention that I didn’t get a pixie cut.  (Thanks, mom! You were right, I can’t pull that off…) Now, at 21, I’ve learned to say ‘screw you’ to the gender binary and I fully believe that gender is a construct – but that’s a whole different article.

So while my style may have evolved (still wearing Dr. Martens and excessive flannel), my identity hasn’t.  Sometimes it’s tough not being easily identifiable to other lesbians, because honestly I really would love some more queer friends.  But at the same time, I’m confident and happy with who I am, the choices I’ve made, and the life I’m living.  I’ve learned to reject the stereotypes that come along with my sexual identity and I’ve learned not to let the doubt define me.  Just don’t take away my plaid flannel shirts until after graduation.

 

Originally published: http://www.bsmartguide.com/learn/how-to-find-love/1210-growing-up-gay-being-queer-and-feminine.html